Lag 'n slag

Goeie een, Johann.   Ek het nou lekker gelag!

Dankie Johann.   Ja, ons het 2 keuses : Lag of Huil.   Of dan maar huil soos ons lag?

Hier by ons kry ons ook plek plek elektrisiteit. Is weer af vanaf 09h00 tot half twaalf

Hahahaha!      Nou moet ons begin begin vir elektrisiteit! 

Ons gaan n nuwe volkslied kry::

"Hello darkness my old friend"

Iemand wat snork is n stil sagte persoon wie se vark maniere in sy slaap uit kom. 

Actual call centre conversations!

Customer: "I've been calling 7001000 for two days and can't get through; can you help?" 
Operator: "Where did you get that number, sir?" 
Customer: "It's on the door of your business." Operator: "Sir, those are the hours that we are open."

Electronics Caller: "Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?"
Operator: "I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about." 
Caller: "On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now can you give me the number for Jack 
Operator: "It means the telephone plug on the wall."

RAC Motoring Services Caller: "Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I am traveling in Australia?"
Operator: "Does the product name give you a clue?"

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe): "If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?"

Directory Enquiries Caller: "I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please" 
Operator: "I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is correct?" 
Caller: "Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off."

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven. 
Operator: "Woven? Are you sure?" 
Caller: "Yes. That's what it says on the label Woven in Scotland."

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told a worried operator: "I haven't got a pen, so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on."

Tech Support: "I need you to right click on the Open Desktop." 
Customer: "OK." 
Tech Support: "Did you get a popup menu?" 
Customer: "No." 
Tech Support: "OK. Right Click again. Do you see a popup menu?" 
Customer: "No." 
Tech Support: "OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?" 
Customer: "Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click' ... twice"

Tech Support: "OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen, can you see the 'OK' button displayed?" 
Customer: "Wow! How can you see my screen from there?"

Caller: "I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I need it. So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my file back again?" 😂😂😂

 "A friend went to Beijing recently and was given this brochure by the hotel. It is precious.
She is keeping it and reading it whenever she feels depressed.
Obviously, it has been translated directly, word for word from Mandarin to English.

Getting There: 
Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.

The Hotel: 
This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We, of course, are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children. Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have babies in the bar. We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.

The Restaurant: 
Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.

Your Room: 
Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on the heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity! .. You will not be disturbed by traffic noise since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by paederasts.

Bed: 
Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her. She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.

Above All: 

Varkpos 
Geraaspos
Sproeipos 
Pespos (en die IT man is dan 'n pesposwagter!)

...............seker of hierdie by oorlede Dries Botha se "Rugby"-draad geplaas moet word nie of onder "Lag 'n slag".  Ek dink egter hier is die beste plek.

Wat sê julle van ons "seleb", Kurtie Darren se sing van die Volkslied by Maties en Tuks se Varsitybeker eindstryd in Stellenbosch gisteraand ?  Watter groot grap is dit nie dat die knaap sy woorde (uitgesonderd die Afrikaanse en Engelse woorde) vergeet het !

Elke mens kan seker 'n fout maak, maar as jy daarna 'n groter gek van jouself maak deur kwaad te reageer, dan vererger jy net die saak.  Hy het vanoggend in 'n onderhoud met Radio 702 die foon neergeplak toe hy daarop gewys is dat hy 25 jaar gehad het om die woorde te leer !

Later het hy besef hy maak sake net erger en toe op FB verskoning aangebied.